Some of the lessons I've learned as a new mom
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My friend Tim brought his 7 month old baby on a family sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands and made a super cute video explaining how you can do it too. Check it out by clicking the link below. Enjoy!
Summary
Bring the following:
Other Tips:
Here are two more special tips from Tim (not in the video):
One of the greatest challenges we’ve faced with Leah (aside from breastfeeding) is sleep training. Sleep is one of the most talked about issues among parents, and now I know why. Sleep and good sleep habits one of those things that is always changing, hard to master, but highly desired.
There is so much to say about sleep training, but since this the first post on the topic (and I can’t write it all in one post) I’ll just start off by giving you a list of the most valuable lessons I learned:
1) Read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
2) Pick an approach and method that you are comfortable with - There are a lot of different approaches out there for sleep training, but like a lot of parenting topics, I believe that there isn’t one right or wrong way to do things. Each child is unique and requires an approach that works best for that child, and for the parents. That’s why I found the Healthy Sleep Habits book is so helpful. I also read The Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution but they are very specific in telling you what you should and should not do. Methods like soothing the baby to sleep through patting or nursing, or allowing the baby to cry-it-out (CIO) was frowned upon. The Healthy Sleep Habits book gives you the option of soothing your baby to sleep (through nursing or patting) or allowing the baby to CIO and explains how to adapt the methods accordingly. Even with the CIO method, he explains how to do so gradually (going back in to soothe the baby at increasing time increments) if this suits you better.
3) Be consistent and be strong- It will be much easier to follow this tip if you follow tip #2 and pick a method that you are comfortable with. If you pick a method that you’re not comfortable with, or try something before you’re ready, you’re more like to revert back to what you were doing before. This inconsistency will make it harder for your child and for you. Also keep in mind that it will take some time for your child to learn how to develop good sleep habits and it will usually get hard before it gets better. In the process of following these sleep training methods (especially if you choose to let your child CIO) its important to be strong! Remember that there must be so short term pain for long term gain. If you give in too early and revert back to what you were doing before, the inconsistency will make the process longer and harder in the long run.
4) Have a support system – Find a fellow parent who can support you in the process who has the foresight of having gone through the sleep training process with their child. Preferably find someone who knows you and your spouse, and your child’s temperament so that they can guard you against your weaknesses and help validate if you are using the right method for your child’s personality. You’ll want to find the person who can support without judging and give you the right push at the right time. It’s also great to have someone to update when things go well and to vent to when challenges arise.
Our experience with sleep training Leah:
To give you some history, here is a brief history of Leah’s sleeping habits up to now:
Months 0 to 2: DAY: in our arms; NIGHT: co-sleeper; METHOD: No-Cry Method
Month 2 to 3.5: DAY: in our arms; NIGHT: crib, in our room; METHOD: No-Cry Method
Month 3.5 to 5: DAY: crib; NIGHT: crib, in our room; METHOD: No-Cry Method
Month 5 to 7: DAY: crib; NIGHT: crib in our room; METHOD: Cry-It-Out Method
In the first 3.5 months, Leah would cry every time we tried to put her down to sleep so she ended up sleeping in our arms for all of her day time naps. For her night sleep (her bedtime was around 10pm), I would nurse her to sleep or Clayton would pat her to sleep before we put her down in her crib. If she woke up crying either when we put her down, or sometime during the night, we would start over again. I really enjoyed holding her while we slept, but the process of nursing, patting, slowly lowering her down into her crib for her night time sleep (and eventually for her day time naps), was a long and tedious process. It required a lot of patience and her nap times became the most stressful times of the day. At night it would sometimes take hours of patting and nursing until we could put her down in her crib without her waking up again. In some instances she would be crying while we were trying to her to sleep. We realized that she was becoming too aware of what she needed to do to be held and wasn’t getting enough deep sleep as a result.
We finally decided to try the CIO method (she was crying half the time in our arms anyway!). For us it was the right method at that time, and for Leah’s temperament it was necessary. We did the CIO Extinction method because we knew that going back in the room at intervals would only make things worse. The first day we did it, she fell asleep nursing during her daytime naps so there wasn’t any crying. The first time we let her CIO for the night time sleep she cried for 35 minutes. I was on the phone with my support system mom and while she was convincing me that it was going to be okay, Leah stopped crying and fell asleep! From that point onwards her sleeping improved dramatically! She woke up only 2 times a night (or less) for feeds, her bedtime moved from 10:30pm to 7pm and her naps stretched out from 3o minutes to an average of 1 hour with occasional 2 or 3 hour naps. Clayton and I were so relieved to see her sleeping so well and we had our evenings back! It was incredible.
These days she cries less than 5 minutes before falling asleep unless she falls asleep nursing. She generally wakes up once (or not at all) between 7pm and 7am. We’re so happy with her sleep habits (for now at least!) and would definitely attribute our success to following the tips I outlined above.
Contributed by: Nancy
At each of the pre-natal classes I have attended the instructor has recommended taking an infant & child CPR class. I didn’t really take this to heart because I figured that I could just call 911 if there is an emergency. Plus on TV people do CPR all the time and I figured if I needed to I could just “wing-it” or try to remember the CPR training that I had during my Red Cross swimming lessons 20 years ago. Ok, perhaps not the best idea…
Yesterday there was a last-minute cancellation in a CPR course that we were on the waiting list for, so fortunately both my husband and I were able to take advantage of the open spots. The class was hosted by a local children’s store and the attendees were all parents or grandparents of young children, plus us – the expectant couple. It was taught by American Heart Association certified instructors, took 3 hours, and covered adult, child, & infant CPR & choking. The class was very hands-on and gave us plenty of opportunity to practice on the mannequins provided. The steps are very easy to do and can really make the difference between life & death.
During the class some of the others shared stories of a family member requiring CPR, or a time when their child had choked on something, and they were really eye-opening. We learned that over their lifetime, every kid can and will find a way to choke on something (food, toys, etc.). Part of this has to do with their anatomy and how their throats are still developing. Combine that with their natural curiosity and desire to put everything in their mouth and choking is inevitable.
When we left the class both my husband and I felt that it was the best thing we have done so far to prepare for the baby.
I’ve already talked a bit about the wonderful postpartum symptoms I experienced such as the lovely PUPPPs skin rash, swollen feet and urinary incontinence. Well, you can add sweating and shedding to that list! That’s right, after Leah was born I was sweating like a pig even though I was barely wearing anything (I wore a thin cotton sarong because my nipples were so sore and because I was always overheating). After doing some digging around, it turns out that postpartum sweating is normal after delivery and is actually caused by your hormones, instructing your body to rid itself of all those extra fluids it was formerly using to nourish your baby. For me, all those extra fluids were being stored in my feet so I was happy to sweat it out.
The shedding refers to all the hair that I’ve been losing from Leah’s birth up to now. Yep, 6 months after she was born I am STILL shedding like no tomorrow. It has been clogging up my drains, making a mess on my bathroom floor (especially after I blow dry my hair) and giving my Dyson a real workout. It looks like there’s a small animal living in my bathroom garbage can! My hair loss is another reason is why I’ve been spending so much time cleaning foam playmats! Apparently, the hair loss is also hormonal. During pregnancy, increased levels of estrogen prolong the growing stage of your hair. There are fewer hairs in the resting stage and fewer falling out each day, so your hair often looks more shiny and full. After you give birth, your estrogen levels drop and a lot more hair follicles enter the resting stage. Learn more about it here:
My tips is this: Don’t worry if you’re sweating or shedding, it’s natural and normal (albeit a tad gross and inconvenient)!
So my friend Cheryl at Mommy Quit Her Job started this series called “Fashionable or Frumpy?” so I decided to play along. After all it’s pretty easy to fall into the trap of becoming a frumpy stay-at-home mom when I’m aiming to be a yummy mummy.
The idea is that each week I’ll post a photo of one of my outfits and then open it up for readers to vote – is it fashionable or frumpy? Hope you enjoy! And please be kind… I’m still spending most of my time taking care of a 6 month old baby so you won’t be seeing a runway model body or wardrobe anytime soon!
So here’s my first Fashionable or Frumpy Post.
The top is from Jacob for around $20 I think. I bought it on a very productive Boxing Day shopping trip a few years ago and I still love it. My Boxing Day shopping tip is this: wear a tank top underneath your clothes so you can try on clothes without waiting for a change room.
The pants are one of two pairs of Nike yoga pants that I bought at National one day when I was waiting for Clayton to get his hockey skates sharpened. I think they were $25. I bought then at the end of my pregnancy when my existing Costco yoga pants were starting to fall apart at the seams. I actually didn’t hem them until after Leah arrived and since then these pants have been a staple in my wardrobe. I’m that weird stage where I don’t yet fit my normal pre-pregnancy clothes but I’m trying to phase out of my maternity clothes.
What you can’t see in the photo is the simple green earrings that I’m wearing to accessorize my outfit. Believe me, it really transforms the whole ensemble! 
So what’s the verdict? Vote away!
Since Leah is now rolling around, we’ve put down foam playmats for her to roll around on. The problem with these mats (and with her other playmats and exersaucer) is that they attract dust and hair. Ew! It doesn’t help that I’m shedding hair like crazy, another fun postpartum symptom. I’ve found that masking tape does an excellent job of picking up stray hairs off the foam mats and lint rollers work great for removing dust from the Leah’s plush playmat. Try it!
I know this tip sounds like its meant for newlyweds but communicating with your partner is SO important in the journey of being a new parent that I thought I would take the time to write about it. Similar to a new marriage, having a new baby really introduces new challenges into a couple’s relationship and on top of that, both individuals are usually so sleep deprived and exhausted that resolving a conflict and making decisions together is that much more difficult. In addition, a new baby introduces many fears and uncertainties that can cause one to act irrationally or out of the ordinary.
Clayton and I are the kind of couple that rarely argue and we typically resolve issues and conflicts quite quickly and easily but the introduction of Leah into our lives changed that in a big way though, especially in the first few weeks of parenthood. I found myself getting so frustrated with him for the things he was doing (or should I say the things he wasn’t doing) and I felt like I was a newlywed again, trying to figure out how to communicate how I was feeling without hurting him. I wasn’t sure if my expectations were too high or if he just needed a good kick in the butt.
I would say that things really got bad once Clayton went back to work. During the day I felt so frustrated and exhausted from being home alone with the baby and counted down to his return home so I could vent to him about all the things that were bothering me. But when he came through the door, I was so happy and relieved to see him that I didn’t want to bring up all these negatives thoughts. Plus, I didn’t want to spend our precious moments together arguing, not to mention that we had hardly any time to argue anyhow. We were fully occupied changing, feeding and trying to put Leah to bed before we collapsed into bed exhausted ourselves. Before the end of the first week had ended I had written him a strongly worded email expressing all the things he had been doing that caused me pain and frustration. Although it was really hard to sacrifice those precious moments of the day to write that email I was so glad that I did, especially when it helped Clayton to see how much more I needed his help and support. He agreed to try harder and help out more, and his support really helped me get through a rough patch. Later on, the open lines of communication helped us to make important decisions regarding breastfeeding, sleep training, and other challenging issues.
Moral of the story: make sure you take the time to talk (or email) your partner when things start to get rough or when he’s not quite supporting you in the ways you need him to. He may not know how much you need his help or perhaps may not know how to help. The physical and mental support will help you to be a better mom and also, a better wife! And you know what they always say: “Happy wife, happy life!”
Guest contributor: Liz
My husband Alan and I went to Arizona with Clara, her paternal grandmother, her maternal grandparents and her aunt for a two week trip. I was really nervous prior to going; at 4 months Clara was still a short napper with no real daytime schedule, and still waking 2X/night and so my particular concerns was around whether she would fall asleep in new environments or whether she’d get overtired and then scream on our trip. However, things went great! The biggest help was that Clara was still at the age where she liked to be carried and didn’t squirm so much. She was happiest on our laps being bounced or talked to. Also, she still fit into a sling, which I brought as an afterthought and it turned out the be a lifesaver. She’d sleep in the sling, which was a great help for the long lineups at the airport post Detroit terrorist threat; and also in the evenings when we were out for dinner I could put her in the sling for a short sleep. I could make it dark with Clara in the sling by putting another blanket over my shoulder which would shield her from distractions. I did find that Clara would get quite hot and sweaty in the sling, so I removed layers before putting her in.
At night she slept beside her grandmother on a double bed or between us on a king sized bed. The hotels we stayed at provided playpens but not cribs and they didn’t look comfortable, so Clara got to sleep in luxury.
In terms of the plane ride, I was asked by the staff to hold Clara a certain way for takeoff and then when we were in the air we’d feed her from a bottle. She didn’t seem bothered by the pressure in her ears. For landings we didn’t bother with the feeding, because if she cried we’d be off the plane soon anyways.
In terms of other gear, we rented a carseat with the rental car – not the most comfortable but easier than lugging our carseat from home. We bought an umbrella stroller while in Arizona – not the best as Clara was still a bit small for it but it was functional for traveling and on the way home we could push the stroller up to the gate and then collect it at the gate after our flight.
Overall, it was a great trip and traveling with Clara was worth it! The two weeks following the trip were harder – it was hard to get Clara back on a routine, sleeping in her own crib, not held all the time, but she settled in again after a couple of weeks and really now all I remember are the good moments from the trip!
Kegel exercises help to strengthen pelvic muscles and are important in preparation for your labour and post-delivery. Strong pelvic muscles help with the delivery of the baby and also help to prevent urinary incontinence. I know it seems weird to be talking about peeing yourself when we’re hardly the target market for Depends adult diapers but believe me, at some points in my pregnancy I seriously considered investing in some because I kept having accidents (so embarrassing). These incidents would often happen when I heard the sound of trickling water (e.g. when washing the dishes, washing my hands, near a fountain, etc.). I started to mitigate the problem by emptying my bladder often and also by doing my Kegals.
During my pregnancy I practiced Kegel exercises during my prenatal exercise classes and at home when I remembered (which wasn’t too often). One of the women in my prenatal class shared how her husband left sticky notes around the house and in her car with the letter “k” written on it to remind her to do her Kegels! Kegel exercises can be as simple as tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, and can progress to the Kegel Elevator (Visualize an elevator. Slow down the exercises, gradually contracting and releasing your pelvic floor muscles one at a time. As you contract, visualize an elevator traveling up four floors. At each floor, contract your muscles a little more until you reach maximum contraction at the fourth floor. Hold the contraction and then slowly release the tension as you visualize the elevator returning to the ground floor.)
Even after the baby is delivered, the urinary incontinence continues as I mentioned in my post on Bowel and Bladder Maintenance. A friend of mine mentioned that exercise (playing ultimate frisbee) would cause her to pee herself a little, another friend would pee herself when she sneezed, and I still struggle when I hear the sound of running water (lol!). Lesson learned: do your Kegals and strengthen those pelvic muscles!
